6 Reasons I Hate Using the Library

Some things about the library drive me buggy. Maybe it’s the OCD talking. Or could be, I’m not the only one.

Satire alert! Tongue-in-cheek play on how I *hate* the library...plus 6 reasons I love it too

Turned-over corners & busted bindings

Books are something I treasure. I treat them like beloved children: careful to only touch them with clean hands, watchful for accidental damage, and, while I’m reading a book I own, even removing the dust covers to keep them in pristine order. It pains me to see borrowed books that have faced abuse—turned corners the biggest culprit.

Foreign odors

Books should smell like dust and ink and heavy paper. To crack open the cover and discover old perfume, grease, or, worst of all, cigarette smoke embedded in the pages, seeps some of the joy out of reading.

Unidentified objects

Am I the only one who’s found smeared food, candy wrappers, or the occasional receipt? One fine day I came across something I suspect was mucus, aka snot. UGH!

Filing system makes no sense

Order makes my heart go pitty-pat, but I just don’t get why the categories are organized like they are. I can never remember whether literature is before history or after technology. Why not make them alphabetical? Arts & Recreation, General Works, History & Geography, and so on.

Reading a good book makes me want more

When I find an author I like, I want to read everything they have written. The library teases me with these volumes, laying them out like candy for a sugar addict.

Due dates

Libraries require you to return the books—greedy buggers. I don’t want to share!
 

6 reasons I Love Using the Library

The library is a handy place. Think of all the knowledge, experience, and imagination waiting to be tapped into! I can’t wait to go back.

Read books for free

Some call it cheap, I prefer frugal. And nothing speaks to my penny-pinching ways more than cool stuff for free.

Staff knowledge

Having a librarian ready with answers, or knowing where to look, is better than Google. Friendly, helpful people all around (sung to the tune of R.E.M.’s Shiny Happy People).

New to me authors

Love love love finding super good books by novelists I hadn’t read before. Speaking to above-mentioned frugality, picking up free books by these authors fits right into my budget.

Liberal return policy

Occasionally, I borrow a dud. You know the kind—a book you just can’t make yourself finish. The ever-so-helpful library takes these poor souls back, no questions asked.

E-book lending

As a big fan of the Kindle Nation, I love supplementing my reading list with e-books; fun on the run and great for travel. Many libraries now offer free rentals along with your membership.

Lots of books available

One of my super powers is speedy reading. Pretty darn quick to begin with, my pace picked up after taking a speed reading class in high school. Having the libraries resources available helps me feed my habit, no matter how fast I turn the pages.


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